I realize that it's only fair to reveal that being a Big Brother isn't all smiles and high-fives. Sometimes hanging out with the kid can get a little annoying. For instance, Jamal has a habit of responding to questions about his day, school, or just about anything that I may ask him about with "I don't know" or "nothing." He has at times taken this to ridiculous extremes answering "I don't know" repeatedly if I ask him a series of questions which he very likely knows the answer to. I think of it as a game of "who's the dummy?" Me, for thinking that he really doesn't know the answer, or him for not knowing what happened on September 11th, 2001 (one of the questions I asked to begin a conversation about current events).
Last Saturday I made plans to spend my only day off in a span of eleven to take Jamal to out a 3-D movie at the Air and Space museum in D.C. For most of the trip down to the Metro Station, Jamal was very content to sit quietly and study the ridges on the cap of his soda bottle. When I tried to interrupt him with a question about school or even his leisure time around the house, he would respond with "nothing" or "I don't know." He has done this regularly since we met, but somehow I thought of it as shyness that would subside as our friendship grew. After about 10 minutes of this I was pretty irritated, but I did my best to hide it with a chuckle, and change of subject. Realizing that the only topic that would get more than a two or three word response out of him was video games, I broke down and asked him about his latest conquests. He was more than happy to tell me all about the best weapon to use against robot invaders and over sized monsters. Any attempts to change the subject were met with more of the same dull responses. You know, I wasn't exactly a master of conversation at the age of 13, but I did at least make an attempt to speak to an adult if he/she was showing some interest in my wellbeing. Except with my parents. But I saw them every day, so I feel like that's a little different.
Once we were at the metro station, I did succeed in getting Jamal to calculate the fare that we needed to pay to get to the Smithsonian stop on the Metro and back. He made a small miscalculation, but got the correct answer with a little coaching. The movie was very well narrated and filmed, and more than lived up to my expectations. Jamal's favorite part was a scene where rocks were being shot towards the audience during a rocket launch. The action played in full 3-D with loud stereo effects. The realism was impressive. He denies screaming like a frightened girl scout, but I have first hand knowledge to the contrary.
After the movie, we looked around the museum a little and headed out. Before getting back on the train, I thought it would be nice to look at something new. I took him by the Freer Art Gallery , to take in some cultural pieces from Asia. As we walked around we both noticed how empty the place was compared to the other museums and attractions we had been past. Within 5 minutes we realized why. It was the probably the most boring collection of displays that I could imagine being in one place. A PBS documentary on box factories would have been more exciting. We bounced. On our way back into the metro station, he decided to slip through the gate behind another patron so that he wouldn't have to use his metro card. He was so proud of himself when he told me about it. Of course, I realized that we were now going to encounter an error at our destination since it would appear as if he had teleported himself from Washington back to our station of origin. Once again, I was a little bothered, but I didn't say much other than "Don't do that again" in the most neutral tone that I could muster, and explained that not using your card to get through the gate constitutes theft. As expected, when we arrived at our destination the gate flashed a message "Please see the attendant." To set things straight quickly, I just moved him through with me and destroyed his card so that we wouldn't be stealing. All in all it was a good day, and I still have much love for the young man. But I 'm learning that despite wanting to do a good thing, I'm not immune to being irritated by his behavior at times. Maybe my expectations are too high. After all, I have established a relationship that makes me more of a buddy than an adult. Perhaps it's a good thing that he's relaxed enough to get on my nerves.
