Saturday afternoon began like most of our conversations, with me trying to guess what it is that a twelve year-old actually wants to talk about. “Read any books this week?”. Nope. “When does school start?” I don’t know. “What did you do all week?” Nothing. Hmmm… “So, what’s the best mutant power on that X-men game anyway?” [Long soliloquy on Iceman and Nightcrawler]. I’m starting to realize that Jamal doesn’t really want to address his education, books, or career plans on a weekly basis. I saw a cheesy inspirational poster today that said “A lesson learned at the right time will last a lifetime”. If that is actually true, I would have to say that the middle of the summer is definitely not the time to have any deep conversations about Jamal’s future with him.
Our activities started at the University gym with two games of H-O-R-S-E followed by a game of 1-on-1 to 7 points. I’m not bragging or anything, but I pretty much dominated him from the get go. My Outside shot was on fire, I was driving to the hole, and there was nothing he could do about the post. I guess I should also mention that he is 4’11” and 65 lbs. But he told me not to go easy on him so I had no choice but to crush him. I did end up letting him score a few times without being too obvious about it.
After basketball, I attempted to teach Jamal the game of racquetball. But after about 5 minutes it was clear that he wasn’t that interested in learning the rules, so we just started randomly smacking the ball around until we got tired.
From the gym we headed back to do a little art work. This time Jamal wanted to draw Tweety bird (one of his specialties), so we listened to my old school R&B playlist while drawing a picture that I had downloaded. I was pleasantly surprised when he started singing along with Al Green and The Temptations. It turns out his Grandmother instilled a taste for good R&B in lieu of some of today’s music.
Our activities started at the University gym with two games of H-O-R-S-E followed by a game of 1-on-1 to 7 points. I’m not bragging or anything, but I pretty much dominated him from the get go. My Outside shot was on fire, I was driving to the hole, and there was nothing he could do about the post. I guess I should also mention that he is 4’11” and 65 lbs. But he told me not to go easy on him so I had no choice but to crush him. I did end up letting him score a few times without being too obvious about it.
After basketball, I attempted to teach Jamal the game of racquetball. But after about 5 minutes it was clear that he wasn’t that interested in learning the rules, so we just started randomly smacking the ball around until we got tired.
From the gym we headed back to do a little art work. This time Jamal wanted to draw Tweety bird (one of his specialties), so we listened to my old school R&B playlist while drawing a picture that I had downloaded. I was pleasantly surprised when he started singing along with Al Green and The Temptations. It turns out his Grandmother instilled a taste for good R&B in lieu of some of today’s music.
Jamal's Tweety
Thus far I’m really enjoying being a Big Brother, and it appears that Jamal enjoys our time as well. Making time for our get togethers is probably the biggest challenge. But I’m also learning that I have to be patient and teach him things as they come up instead of forcing conversations about topics that I think are important. I’m looking forward to taking Jamal to some museums in D.C. in the near future, and helping him tackle some of the challenges of the new school year once it gets underway. Until then, I guess we should both relax and enjoy what’s left of summer.
My Tweety
3 comments:
You know, I think that is where I messed up. I was always trying to teach my little something - like not to suck her thumb (even though her mother says it's okay and that her 15 year old sister and 18 year old brother suck their thumbs), to say street instead of skreet - and that no that is NOT talking like a white girl - it's speaking correct english. Yeah, she didn't want to hear all that.
Wow,
I would have had to address some of those things also. Lucky for me, my Little is quite well behaved and speaks about 80% standard english.
I know how you feel. I too am a big brother and back when my younger (can't call him little)brother was 4-5 (you know that age range) I was a big brother. I felt it was important for me to be his brother and have him understand I LOVED HIM and was going to do all that a brother could to ensure his future.
Unfortunately our mother (who abused me as a child) was against any form of relationship between he & I after we got older unless I was on her side. Today he is a victim of his own doing. A drop out, job hunting weed-head who expects me to take care of him.
I am a married father of 4 (2 boys and 2 girls) who are all of the ages between 9-17 and I have an obligation to them. I will always love mt brother but at 25 (his age) the time has come for him to pick himself up.
Cherish the moments you spend with your brother and know every second you spend with him is a great contribution to his life. When you are in DC let me know. Maybe me and my sons can hang out with ya'll.
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