Family Building

Another month in the hospital, another chance to see Black American statistics come to life. I split the past 4 weeks between Obstetrics/Gynecology clinics and the Labor and Delivery floor of a Baltimore hospital. On average, I met about 4-5 pregnant or postpartum black women a day and either did a quick check up (if in the clinic) or assisted in the delivery of their child if they were on the labor and delivery floor. Although I will never voluntarily come near a gynecology clinic or a delivery ward again, I must admit that childbirth is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed. In case there was any confusion, that is despite the screaming, bleeding, and vomiting, not because of it. Unfortunately, I found that in many cases the deeper implications of birth often diminished my appreciation of new life. In the stillness that followed birth, I would often peer over at the newborn as he or she lay beneath the heating lamp and imagine their future. On many occasions, I lamented the child's unlikely prospects of enjoying a stable household, and a strong upbrining based on the little information that I had already gathered from her parents. Young, unmarried, and uneducated.
70 percent of black children are born to unmarried parents, and only 32 percent of black children have fathers in the home. These statistics echoed in my mind each time I greeted a black mother. Sadly, of the 70-80 women that I met over the past month, only 6 or 7 black mothers were married. Almost one third of them were either teenagers, or had been pregnant as teenagers. One statistic that I have not come across, maybe because it doesn't really matter, is how many black fathers are present when life begins. I was very surprised to see that in more than 50% of cases, the boyfriend (baby-daddy) was present for birth or an appointment. Unfortunately, current statistics predict that they won't be staying much longer.
My experiences over the last month supported the census and health department statistics that I have read many times before concerning a general decline in the stability of Black families. Stable, two-parent homes have positive correlations with good outcomes among children regardless of geography and race. In a perfect world, this fact alone would inspire everyone to carefully plan pregnancy and family building. But that is rarely seen among the poor blacks of Balitmore and many other cities in America. So what can we do to improve these children's lives despite these circumstances? For those that are capable, mentor a child in need or support someone who does. In the case of Big Brothers Big Sisters, mentors have been shown to make dramatic differences in the lives of young people. For those already mentoring, thank you, and feel free to share your experiences.